Exploring Eldership

Listening

One of the most important aspects of pastoral care is to be able to truly hear what somebody is saying to us. This includes being able to hear without bringing our own agenda to bear on how we respond.

Some thoughts on how we listen

It can be very hard for us to remain silent, as it is natural for us to want to share our point of view. It can also be difficult to listen attentively when not joining in the discussion. However, good active listening is not the same as maintaining a conversation. It is a way of listening to others by letting them speak, to know that they have been heard, allowing them to explore their situation and to find their own answers to it. The listener enters into the situation of the other and is able to make appropriate prompts as they seek solutions. 

This skill is often known as ‘empathic listening’. This can be quite a difficult thing to practice for people who feel they need to have answers to questions and solutions for problems, but it is important to develop the ability to listen in this way. It not only allows the listener to hear what the person is saying but also gives space and time to hear what God is saying through their words. Prayerful silence and careful consideration are part of the pastoral carer’s tools for the task.